Netflix’s three-part docuseries, “Should I Marry a Murderer?”, released on April 29, departs from conventional true crime narratives. It does not focus on the perpetrator or the victim, but rather on the woman who became engaged to a confessed murderer, discovered his crime, and subsequently chose to remain with him.
The central figure is Caroline Muirhead, a forensic pathologist who met Alexander “Sandy” McKellar through a dating app. Sandy, an identical twin, hailed from a prominent land-managing family in the Scottish Highlands; his brother was Robert. In 2017, the brothers were involved in a hit-and-run incident that claimed the life of Tony Parsons, a man in his sixties cycling for charity on a dark, winding road. Intoxicated at the time, the McKellar brothers buried Parsons on their 28,000-acre estate. Two years later, after becoming engaged to Muirhead, Sandy confessed his involvement. Eighteen months following that revelation, Muirhead played a crucial role in securing both men’s imprisonment.
Muirhead’s initial encounter with McKellar on Tinder occurred in 2019, shortly after she emerged from a long-term relationship that had negatively impacted her self-esteem. She described him as charming, caring, and possessing a masculinity she found distinct from men in Glasgow. However, he also had a significant drinking problem and was prone to mood swings. The two initially connected over their professional commonalities: her expertise as a pathologist and his skills as a gamekeeper capable of expertly preparing a Highland stag.
During their engagement, two years into the relationship, McKellar revealed his secret. He recounted how, in 2017, he and Robert had struck a cyclist on a secluded road after a boisterous night at the pub. The victim, Tony Parsons, a cancer survivor, was participating in a charity ride. In a state of panic and intoxication, the brothers buried him on their expansive estate, never speaking of the incident again. Parsons’ case subsequently grew cold, registered merely as another missing person.
Rather than ending the relationship, Muirhead remained, even introducing McKellar to her parents during Christmas and accompanying him on shooting expeditions, all while surreptitiously gathering evidence for the Police Service of Scotland. She recorded her fiancé during drunken confessions about that fateful night and covertly marked Parsons’ grave with a crushed Red Bull can, aiding the police in their investigation into the cyclist’s disappearance.
The docuseries also highlights Muirhead’s difficult experience after she provided the police with the necessary information. She alleges that despite promises of anonymity and support, she felt abandoned once the brothers were implicated. Her account details how the police allegedly failed to provide therapeutic services while collecting evidence and, in some instances, mishandled the investigation in ways that jeopardized her and her family’s safety. Muirhead ultimately lost her job due to conflict-of-interest protocols when Parsons’ body was sent to the morgue where she worked. With limited alternatives, she returned to her fiancé’s Scottish estate, where Sandy and Robert were permitted to reside while awaiting trial.
Muirhead’s decision to stay and her subsequent struggle with substance abuse leading up to the trial elevate “Should I Marry a Murderer?” beyond a typical true crime documentary. The series presents a complex moral dilemma, prompting viewers to consider the intricacies of her impossible situation. By focusing on a character who defies easy classification as either victim or villain, the series achieves a profound realism that sets it apart within the genre.
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