How much should you reveal on a dating profile? Israeli study finds the sweet spot – study

[The Optimal Self‑Disclosure Balance in Online Dating Profiles]

Unmarried people using dating websites and apps wonder how much personal information they should disclose in their profile. Will too much data deter potential partners or, rather, encourage them to make a connection?

A study led by psychology Prof. Gurit Birnbaum of REICHMAN University’s Baruch Ivcher School of Psychology, in collaboration with her colleagues Yovel Refaeli and Kobi Zholtack, and Prof. Harry Reis of the University of Rochester in New York, researched this question.

It examined whether the amount of personal information people disclosed in their dating profiles affected the impression they made and if this influenced what type of relationship potential partners then chose to pursue.

The study was published in the journal Current Psychology under the title, “Too much information or not enough? How self‑disclosure in online dating profiles influences attraction and relationship intentions.”

“It all started when I was watching my students struggle to find compatible partners on dating apps, and I began noticing the same mistakes again and again,” birnbaum recalled.

“How much should we self‑disclose to attract the right partner? Some profiles revealed almost nothing, while others revealed a great deal,” she said.

“It made me wonder not merely what attracts attention, but what kind of impression the amount of information we share creates, and whether it attracts the kind of relationship we actually want. That question led my colleagues and me to study three aspects of dating profiles: the photos people choose, how much they disclose, and how they present that information.”

What the researchers found was that several mistakes are made when preparing dating profiles that attract the wrong people.

One is that people want to stand out in a crowded dating field, so they often confuse getting attention with attracting what they actually want.

Another is that what a person presents matters, but how it is presented might matter just as much. How one presents themselves shapes not only how potential partners see them, but also what they think that person wants and whether they can imagine connecting with that potential mate.

Previous research showed that self‑disclosure fosters trust and attraction in online interactions, yet its impact on perceived relationship intentions — a key factor in dating decisions — has hardly been studied.

Too little or too much self‑disclosure can backfire

According to the researchers, a few lines of self‑description can reveal far more than their literal content. They found that a profile containing very little personal information may signal a lack of effort, guardedness, or limited interest in forming a meaningful relationship.

A more detailed profile, on the other hand, may convey openness and effort, but it can also come across as oversharing, reveal incompatibilities early on, or leave too little room for imagination and curiosity.

Self‑disclosure — the sharing of personal information, thoughts, and feelings — is vital for developing intimacy and building relationships, but in face‑to‑face encounters, impressions develop gradually through conversation, tone of voice, body language, and reciprocal sharing.

A dating profile, by contrast, is generally one‑sided and static, Birnbaum said. “As a result, every sentence may carry considerable weight in deciding whether a person wants to take the interaction further and whether they see the person behind the profile as a potential partner for a casual encounter or a committed relationship.”

The researchers conducted three studies involving participants who were not in a relationship. A total of 90 students (an equal number of women and men), aged 21 to 29, participated in the study.

To minimize potential influence from specific photo‑description pairings or order effects, the study randomized both the order of presentation and the pairing of photos with self‑descriptions for each participant. This approach ensured that each of the three photos had an equal chance of being matched with each of the three self‑descriptions throughout the study.

Birnbaum explained that in each study, participants first created their own dating profiles and then evaluated profiles with varying levels of self‑disclosure.

For example, a moderate‑disclosure profile included information about personality traits, hobbies, and personal preferences, while a low‑disclosure profile contained only the phrase “I’m totally worth a chat!”

Participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of the people behind the profiles, assess whether they appeared to be seeking a casual or long‑term relationship, and indicate what kind of relationship they themselves would want to pursue with them.

Independent judges then evaluated the messages to determine how strongly they expressed romantic interest and a desire for further interaction.

“In one of the studies, we went a step further: participants also had a brief online conversation with the person whose profile they had just viewed, who was actually a trained member of the research team. Of course, participants were fully debriefed afterward,” Birnbaum said.

The Reichman psychologist, who earned her doctorate at Bar‑Ilan University 28 years ago, researches romantic relationships, human sexuality, and evolutionary psychology.

The Goldilocks principle for dating profiles

Her team found that greater self‑disclosure generally created a more favorable impression and led profile owners to be viewed as more interested in a serious relationship.

However, when the self‑description was the primary source of information available to viewers, moderate self‑disclosure generated the greatest romantic interest.

According to the researchers, this finding reflected the Goldilocks principle: not too little and not too much, but just the right amount.

People whose profiles contained a moderate level of self‑disclosure were perceived as more interested in a long‑term relationship than those who disclosed very little. This perception, in turn, increased participants’ willingness to pursue a meaningful relationship with them.

Acquiring more information about someone can sometimes backfire, depending on how the information is evaluated, Birnbaum said.

“If the content of additional self‑disclosure leads to negative evaluations of the discloser because it reveals dissimilarity to the self in terms of shared personality traits and values or contains too much information that is perceived as inappropriate to the context or relationship stage, interest may decrease.”

The study also found that how self‑disclosure is interpreted depends on the other information presented in a profile. When profile owners clearly stated that they were seeking a casual relationship, greater self‑disclosure led others to perceive them as more open to a serious relationship.

This increased participants’ interest in pursuing a long‑term relationship with them. To put it simply, the way people present themselves can soften — and even, to some extent, contradict — the explicit message conveyed by their statement about the type of relationship they are seeking.

“There is no magical number of words or pieces of information that defines the ‘right’ amount of disclosure,” Birnbaum said. “Dating platforms differ in their norms. What feels like ‘too much’ also depends on the context and content. A nearly empty profile may give people too little to work with and can create the impression that the person is less serious about pursuing a committed relationship and more interested in casual sex.”

“In contrast, revealing everything at once may feel overwhelming or premature,” the psychologist continued. “Moderate disclosure gives potential partners enough information to form a meaningful impression while still leaving room for curiosity and discovery.”

Creating a dating profile is more than an exercise in self‑presentation designed to attract attention, Birnbaum noted. “The amount of information people disclose can shape how others perceive their intentions and influence the kinds of relationships potential partners may want to pursue with them.”

“The practical takeaway is that the level of self‑disclosure should be tailored to what a person is looking for — share enough to arouse interest and convey openness, while leaving room to discover more about each other as the connection develops.”

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