During Saturday Night Live’s Halloween episode, Donald Trump appeared midway through a haunted house tour, displaying exaggerated signs of aging while offering unusual praise for Tom Hanks.
Portrayed by James Austin Johnson, Trump interrupted Hanks’ revival of David S. Pumpkins—the jack-o’-lantern-blazer character he introduced a decade ago alongside Mikey Day and Bobby Moynihan. The trio previously reunited for a follow-up sketch in 2022.
“Aw, are you sad you don’t get to see your third David Pumpkins scene?” Trump told the audience. “I’ll save you four minutes: he keeps popping up and confusing people on the ride. The end.”
“I actually have a lot in common with Mr. Pumpkins,” he continued. “We both appeared in 2016, we’re both very loud, very orange, and very, frankly, annoying.”
“But we love Tom Hanks. Look at him back there. Great acting,” he said, as Hanks and the others remained frozen. “Great ass! A great ass on Hanks. That’s something I’ve been doing lately: admiring men’s asses. Not that there’s anything wrong with that—just that I might be gay. They’re calling it ‘gay dementia.’ ‘Dementia,’ short for ‘the men should’ show me their butts.”
Trump also turned to another staple of his recent rally speeches: strange vocal noises.
“What the hell was that?” he asked after making one such sound. “Probably the soul trying to leave the body.”
Addressing Tuesday’s midterms, Trump said he did not expect victory.
“They’re saying Texas is turning blue, just like my hand,” the 80-year-old said, holding up his frequently bruised right hand. “And if it goes blue, then—just like my hand—I will leave it for dead. We can’t let that happen, so we gotta vote for that awful Ken Paxton. God, what an ugly son of a bitch. I hate that guy.”
Democrat James Talarico, by contrast, “is frankly much better looking—and wow, what a dynamite ass.”
Trump concluded by introducing a new Saturday Night Live character likely destined for a one-time appearance: Katie Zacharia, whom he fired as press secretary after less than a week.
Zacharia, played by Veronika Slowikowska, stayed true to her single press briefing by botching the iconic “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night” line.
Trump then passed the duty to Hanks, Day, and Moynihan, who delivered it without incident.
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