The Heavy Toll of War: U.S. Military Families Endure Emotional and Financial Strain of Iran Conflict

By Julia Harte

For six months, since the United States initiated military operations against Iran, Courtney Sanders has dedicated her efforts to assisting soldiers’ families in managing the void left by their deployed loved ones.

Her responsibilities include coordinating school pickups, supplementing lost incomes, and addressing the persistent anxiety of separation.

“It is like living on pins and needles constantly,” Sanders remarked.

Sanders leads the Chicagoland chapter of Blue Star Families, the nation’s largest nonprofit dedicated to supporting military families. Her own daughters serve in the U.S. Navy and have been stationed in various overseas locations, including the Middle East, over the past six months.

More than 50,000 U.S. troops are stationed across the region, with thousands of additional Marines and sailors deployed to bolster the war effort. To date, eighteen American service members have been killed and over 750 wounded in the conflict.

Amid the conflict’s intermittent fighting, shuttle diplomacy, and failed peace talks, military families have endured what Sanders described as a “roller coaster of emotions.” “Just when you feel you can finally catch your breath, you get gut-punched again,” she added.

While the pressures faced by the partners, children, mothers, and fathers of American troops are familiar, the sudden onset and fitful pace of the Iranian conflict have compounded their impact, relatives told Reuters.

According to a Blue Star Families poll of approximately 200 active-duty military families conducted in early March, 81% reported elevated stress levels stemming from the conflict in Iran.

In response, the organization has expanded its programming by establishing online resource hubs, hosting webinars and in-person meet-ups, and pairing military spouses experiencing a deployment for the first time with those who have previously navigated the process.

Many service members have faced unexpected extensions to their deployments.

The USS Abraham Lincoln aircraft carrier went over 200 days without a port call—a modern-day record, according to Democratic lawmakers. Military outlets reported suicide attempts and declining morale among its 5,000 sailors and Marines, though U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth stated that the reports “completely misrepresented” the conditions on board.

Some military families have also encountered severe financial difficulties.

National Guard members, for instance, typically hold civilian jobs when not deployed. The sudden loss of this primary income can make it difficult for those left behind to afford basic necessities, Sanders noted.

“There is a widespread misconception in the civilian world that military service guarantees all bills are covered,” she said. “That is simply not the case.”

In a statement, the Pentagon acknowledged the situation: “We see these families, and we hear their concerns. We will do whatever is necessary to provide the resources, assistance, and stability they need and deserve during these challenging times.”

‘A LOT OF EMOTIONS’

Shannon, an Army spouse and mother of three in North Carolina who requested that Reuters use only her first name for security reasons, attempts to tune out the news and the political debate surrounding the war.

In February, her husband deployed to the region on just five days’ notice and was only able to contact her sporadically for the first several months.

Although they have maintained near-daily communication since June, “there are a lot of emotions,” Shannon said, “especially when people are dying over there.”

Her children began therapy over the summer. She strives to appear strong in front of them, though she occasionally cries when they are not present.

Shortly after her husband’s deployment, Shannon joined an Army-sponsored soldier-and-family “readiness group” within his unit, helping organize meal trains and other support for family members in need.

“Every day is not going to be a great day, but you just have to keep going and keep yourself busy,” she said.

In Virginia, Pat, a Navy spouse who also requested to be identified by her first name for security reasons, has attempted to maintain a sense of normalcy for her middle and high school-aged children.

Since her husband deployed approximately five months ago, Pat said her neighbors have been “amazing” for assisting with child pickups and other chores.

Her family wears red on Fridays to show support for deployed service members, a tradition many of her children’s classmates—including those without military connections—also participate in.

Pat’s husband has deployed previously, but she was pleasantly surprised this time to discover that his ship was equipped with Wi-Fi, facilitating easier communication.

Still, her family continues to grapple with the uncertainty surrounding his return.

“Having older children and knowing that their father was not present to see those sporting events has been quite emotional,” she said. “But my kids are very resilient.”

(Reporting by Julia Harte; Editing by Jesse Mesner-Hage and Rod Nickel)

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