WCW Thunder Review: October 14, 1999 – Kevin Nash’s Final Show as Booker

Thunder
Date: October 14, 1999
Location: Riverside Centroplex, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Attendance: 4,941
Commentators: Kevin Nash, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

We have something special here, as Kevin Nash is done as booker of the company due to the impending arrival of Vince Russo. That’s going to be quite the change, but since it’s Nash, he’s not exactly going out with a whimper. For those of you unfamiliar, you’re in for something out there. For those of you who know what it is, I suggest you stand up and salute Old Glory. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the booth, with Tenay asking Nash why he’s here. Nash says that he’s retired after booking the greatest angle of all time but now WCW is trying to recoup some of the money they’re paying him to sit at home.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker

Commentary manages to stop talking about Goldberg vs. Sid coming up at Halloween Havoc to mention Duggan being a huge star in the Mid-South territory. Duggan points the 2×4 at Parker like a rifle and gets jumped from behind, which just earns Parker a trip out to the floor. Back in and Duggan slugs away to knock Parker outside where the slugging resumes. Parker manages to choke away back inside, followed by a rake of the eyes.

Duggan misses a shoulder in the corner and we’re off to the chinlock. Nash’s solution to Duggan’s problems: “Use the board.” Duggan gets up and fires off the right hands in the corner but stops to yell at the referee. Nash: “DQ him.” The three point clothesline and the Old Glory knee drop finish Parker at 4:20.

Rating: C-. Well no this wasn’t anything of note, but were you expecting anything else from Duggan vs. the guy who was the Leprechaun in the Dungeon Of Doom. For the life of me I still do not quite understand how he was seen as the best choice for the trainer’s spot in the Power Plant but that was probably on the lower end of WCW’s list of issues. Duggan was still rather charismatic so the match wasn’t dull though and the local fans loved him so this wasn’t a bad idea.

Post match Nash praises Tenay for dubbing the knee drop the Old Glory on the fly, though Tenay says it’s been called that for a long time. Zbyszko talks over the replay and thinks Nash might have been right with “use the board”. Nash: “Or maybe use the Old Glory knee drop.” And we have a running joke.

Al Green vs. Lash LeRoux

Tenay points out that Green is Nash’s former tag partner but Nash thinks Green is the singer. LeRoux is also from Louisiana so WCW actually seems to have an idea with the first few matches on the show. Green’s gorilla press is escaped and LeRoux clotheslines him to the floor. Nash comments on LeRoux’s sideburns and somehow this turns into a discussion of Dick Van Dyke (alas no Twassle reference). Back in and Green pulls a high crossbody out of the air but LeRoux gets out again and hits a quick dropkick. Whiplash (Samoan driver) finishes Green at 2:24, with Nash talking about the sideburns even more.

We look at the First Family (Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus) beating up Harlem Heat in recent weeks on Nitro.

Here are Elizabeth and the Total Package for a chat. Package talks about being in wrestling for thirteen years and now he’s stuck coming to a town like Baton Rouge. He brags about how great he’s built and says no one in this town gets to see someone like him very often. After all of these years, he’s won everything around here and you wonder why Lex Luger is buried.

It’s because no one appreciates what you’re looking at and he has the best physique in the world today. Nash: “The Old Glory Torture Rack.” Package asks how many letters and cards he got when he tore his bicep. Cue Buff Bagwell, who is facing Package next week, with Package calling him a big man these days. Bagwell heard him saying that no one tried to get in touch with him while he was recovering, which Bagwell says makes Package a liar.

Maybe Package just forgot what it means to be friends, and speaking of friends, what is up with Package and Sting? Two guys Bagwell grew up admiring have turned their backs on the fans and on him. Bagwell is ready to fight next week but here is Rick Steiner for a distraction, allowing Package to jump Bagwell from behind. La Parka of all people (Tenay’s words) comes in for the save. Nash: “Lex Luger is terrified, he’s horrified of skeletons!” Why was Luger out here in the first place?

Konnan and Rey Mysterio tell us to buy merch.

We look at Torrie Wilson cheating on David Flair with Billy Kidman. She’s flirting with Curt Hennig too and Flair isn’t happy, earning him a beating from Hennig.

First Family vs. The Armstrongs

Jimmy Hart is here with the First Family and this was actually built up with the Family jumping the Armstrongs. Knobbs beats Steve down into the corner to start but gets taken down with a dropkick. Scott comes in to take over on Morrus’ arm so Morrus gives him an Ultimate Warrior gorilla press drop.

Nash manages to compare Morrus to Bull Nakano as Knobbs and Steve come back in. Some splashes in the corner have Steve in trouble but Morrus misses a top rope elbow. Steve kind of falls over for the tag to Scott and the fans react like they’re being asked to take a geometry exam. Knobbs slams Steve and No Laughing Matter finishes at 4:18.

Rating: C-. There’s a reason you don’t hear much from the Armstrongs in WCW’s history, as they’re just not very interesting. They’re as generic of a team as you could get and that makes for some dull moments. On the other hand, I’m being asked to buy Knobbs and Morrus as a PPV level threat to the Tag Team Titles so the heel side wasn’t much better.

Post match the Family calls out Harlem Heat, who come in to chase them off. Nash: “That’s not Booker T.! That’s Wesley Snipes! No it is Booker T.”

We look at the Filthy Animals and the Revolution having a match on Nitro with a lame interference DQ ending. The rematch is tonight.

Nash has created a video package, which is really just a clip from Nitro of Goldberg and Sid bickering in the back but not being able to touch, with Nash doing some over the top commentary/narration. Then Goldberg beat up Horace Hogan, with Nash talking about milking the hard camera. Then Sid, who Nash says weighs 591lbs, beat up Van Hammer with help from Rick Steiner. Zbyszko: “Will we please get Nash some water? I’LL BUY THE WATER!”

Nash: “Rick Steiner: a man from Detroit, Michigan who speaks like a southern redneck.” Now it’s off to the main event from Nitro (Nash: “Here it is. Here’s the stuff from the main event that I put in.”) with Goldberg running in go spear Steiner but still not being able to touch Sid. Goldberg spears him anyway.

Brian Adams vs. Horace Hogan

Adams grabs a headlock to start and a shoulder puts Hogan down. Naturally commentary talks about the Revolution having problems, with some of them going to wrestle in New Japan over issues with Shane Douglas. To be fair, would you want to talk about Adams vs. Horace? Nash thinks they went to Japan due to their shirt being so ugly, but that’s just his opinion.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Horace again so Horace kicks him low (Nash: “Old Glory mule kick.”). Adams heads outside for a slingshot ax handle as Nash talks about “Luger”, with commentary calling him out for it. Ignore that Total Package called himself Lex Luger during the promo of course.

Back in and Horace hits a left armed clothesline from the middle rope but Adams is fine enough for a gorilla press. Nash says this was originally booked as a hair vs. hair match (note that Horace is bald) as Adams hits a backbreaker. Horace knocks him right back down and hits a splash for two. An ugly piledriver finishes for Adams at 4:10.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t even that bad of a match as they had some nice power stuff in there, but as Zbyszko said, they weren’t following up on them. It was like they were just doing moves rather than stringing them together and that’s not a great look. Then again it’s not like either of these two were ever known for their top level in-ring work so this was kind of a high mark for them.

Video on Sting (a villain at the moment) vs. Hulk Hogan for the former’s World Title at Halloween Havoc.

Gene Okerlund brings out Lash LeRoux for a chat. Tenay talks about how LeRoux had a match earlier and now he’s getting promo time. Nash: “Who booked that?” LeRoux says a lot of people didn’t take him seriously when he came around here but a Cajun like him knows how to add a little spice. He’s ready to go to Lash Vegas and take the Cruiserweight strap. And yes, he knows how to dance. The end. Ok then.

Video on Berlyn, who doesn’t think much of Americans, including Brad Armstrong, before their match at Halloween Havoc. I remember my head exploding as a kid when I found out that was Alex Wright. It was quite the transformation.

Prince Iaukea vs. Berlyn

Berlyn has the Wall with him and Nash isn’t sure why he was “doing a job” in the toy commercial that just aired. Commentary isn’t sure why this match is happening, with Nash saying it’s due to how many wrestlers just didn’t show up today. Tenay welcomes us to this all shoot edition of Thunder, with Nash giving a shoutout to some names that go over Tenay’s head entirely (and I couldn’t even understand them).

Berlyn poses a lot and Iaukea tells him to get going, earning himself a slap. Nash: “It’s the German version of tae bo.” Iaukea gets knocked down so he comes back with a Thesz press. Berlyn knocks him down and poses some more as Nash talks about how he and Scott Hall are in negotiations for a wrestling variety show. He just doesn’t want to be bumping around too much because he’s getting too old.

Berlyn knocks Iaukea down some more and uses a poke to the eye to cut off the comeback attempt. Zbyszko manages to pop Nash by speaking some fake German and Iaukea hits what would be called an Angle Slam (or the Old Glory Samoan drop according to Nash). Iaukea springboards into a powerslam for two, with Berlyn pulling him up. A suplex gets the same result and Wall gets in a cheap shot, allowing Berlyn to grab the neckbreaker for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C. Again, a not very interesting match with commentary making it better. At the same time, it’s not like there is very much you can do with this kind of a match because Iaukea is still one of the least interesting wrestlers I can ever remember. He’s technically sound but there is nothing about him that makes me want to see him, which is quite the issue.

Video on the returning Meng. I’d be scared too.

Meng vs. Luther Biggs

Biggs is the prize pupil of Coach Buzz Stern, formerly known as Glacier. Nash likes Meng’s hair and says you never see Meng and Barry White at the same time. Therefore, it’s time to sing a bit. Biggs gets chopped into the corner to start and a headbutt rocks him again. Nash gets to tell some Meng bar stories as Biggs’ clothesline makes Meng growl at him. A ram into the buckle…just makes Meng do it a few more times on his own. The Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the pin at 1:19.

Post match Steiner gets Death Gripped as well. Nash: “These guys should know that no one gets beaten after a sweet package like that.”

Perry Saturn vs. Rey Mysterio

Rematch from Nitro. Commentary uses the intros to talk about the Halloween Havoc card and Nash seems rather interested in a lot of the matches. Mysterio’s early springboard moonsault is cut off so he tries another one to more success. Saturn sends him face first into the buckle but misses a charge, allowing Mysterio to get in a Bronco Buster. Well the Rough Rider but close enough. Nash thinks it should be the Old Glory Rough Rider, or at least if Jim Duggan did it.

Saturn goes outside and gets taken down by a dive, with Zbyszko saying that Saturn needed eyes in the back of his head. Zbyszko: “Of course if Jim Duggan did it that would be the Old Glory eyes in the back of the head trick.” Nash: “Or the Old Glory skid marks.” Back in and Mysterio springboards into a suplex, with Nash saying it was a porterhouse instead of a t-bone.

After more steak references (Zbyszko: “It’s not a fillet anymore, it’s the Total Steak. I’m not Larry anymore. I’m Bruno.”), Saturn cranks on the arm as Nash says Duggan would name Zbyszko the OLD GLORY Living Legend. Tenay thinks they’ve beaten this one into the ground as Saturn has a crossface chickenwing to keep Mysterio down. That doesn’t last long as Mysterio is up with a dropkick to the knee. This gives Zbyszko and Nash a chance to debate if Saturn is a good package or the TOTAL Package.

They seem to mess something up so Saturn hits a dragon suplex. Nash: “We call that the full nelson.” Zbyszko: “HE KNOWS A HOLD!” Saturn fires off some forearms so Mysterio is back up with a headscissors. Another is loaded up but Saturn faceplants him, with even Nash calling Saturn out for not following up. Zbyszko: “You’re learning.” Back up and Mysterio grabs a quick headscissors into a victory roll for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: C+. They felt like they were on different pages at times but they made it work anyway. The catch here was that Saturn seemed to be ultra serious, as was his custom, but there was always something wrong with unmasked Mysterio. It never felt right and the look didn’t help either. Either way, good action here, but it was a bit rough at times.

Post match Saturn whips out a chain to drop both Mysterio and the referee. Saturn even gets in the OLD GLORY elbow drop, followed by the Rings Of Saturn.

Buff Bagwell/La Parka vs. Total Package/Rick Steiner

Yes this Lethal Lottery leftover is your main event and Elizabeth is here with the villains. Commentary isn’t sure how well Spanish will mesh with Marietta, Georgia English. It’s a brawl to start at the bell with Bagwell beating on Package on the floor and Parka missing a charge into the barricade. Steiner and Parka get inside and a backdrop has the latter in trouble. Back up and Steiner (Nash: “The Total Steiner!”) grabs a chair as Bagwell “goes to the Old Glory choke outside.”.

The other two finally get on the apron as Steiner hits an Old Glory Steiner Line. The slow beating continues as Nash thinks the only team that might be better than the Steiners would of course be the Guerreros. Package (or Luger as Tenay calls him) gets two off a suplex but Parka’s rollup gets the same.

Parka gets a boot up in the corner and it’s off to Bagwell to clean house but Parka grabs the chair to mess up the Blockbuster attempt. That makes Bagwell give Parka a Blockbuster and walk out, with the referee going down for a count because even he has forgotten who is on which side here. And the match is a no contest at about 5:25.

Rating: D. Not only is it one of the most ridiculous main event pairings you’ll ever see but it ends with the big good guy in the match beating up his own partner and walking out. That’s how they are hyping up Bagwell vs. Package next week and it really shouldn’t be a surprise. Total mess here, and as usual Bagwell does something that looks stupid when he should be treated like a midcard hero.

Results
Jim Duggan b. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker – Old Glory
Lash LeRoux b. Al Green – Whiplash
First Family b. Armstrongs – No Laughing Matter to Scott
Brian Adams b. Horace Hogan – Piledriver
Meng b. Luther Biggs – Tongan Death Grip
Rey Mysterio b. Perry Saturn – Rollup
Buff Bagwell/La Parka vs. Total Package/Rick Steiner went to a no contest

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