On Saturday Night Live, actor James Austin Johnson portrayed vaccine skeptic Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in a cold open sketch that satirized his public health statements. The segment featured Kennedy delivering a mock announcement about reimagining cold and flu season with alarming new health recommendations.
The sketch began with Colin Jost, playing Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, addressing sailors returning from a USS Lincoln deployment near Iran. He jokingly referenced “weapons-grade diarrhea” among the crew before introducing Kennedy as a health expert, quipping that he “snorts more Rhinoceros Horn than me.”
Kennedy, speaking with deliberate shakiness to portray his characteristic mannerisms, delivered a series of hyperbolic health claims. He declared the renaming of cold and flu season to include “listeria, measles, and trenchbrain,” while also mentioning investigative efforts into “testicular dementia.” The sketch highlighted the country’s recent rise in measles cases, reaching the highest levels since 1991.
Kennedy continued: “And, yes, 200,000 pounds of pork, beef and goat meat have been recalled, but I just want to stress that catfish, pony and cricket are viable proteins for any American family. But I want to thank you. We were able to spot those recalls early by testing the meats on your ship. The research you provided on Operation Hellcruise will be vital for years to come.”
During his closing remarks, Kennedy appeared to experience a technical issue before adopting a formal sign-off: “And it’s been my esteemed pleasure to speak with you.”
Hegseth, still in character, concluded the segment by referencing the sailors’ ordeal with a playful jab, comparing Kennedy to a “really sad pull-up contest” and quoting Linoleum Park’s “You tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn’t even matter” to underscore the absurdity of the situation.
