Saturday Night Live host Dakota Johnson joined Taylor Swift on stage Saturday, trading jokes about their experiences dating musicians.
During her monologue, Johnson — who has moved on from Coldplay’s Chris Martin and singer-songwriter Role Model since her last hosting stint — drew a parallel to her latest film, Verity.
“The movie is a psycho-sexual erotic thriller, and you know what? So is dating musicians,” she quipped. “Some of them don’t wear shoes, some of them are terrible in bed, but all of them are in my DMs. It’s not my fault, though. Some people leave concerts with merch, and I leave concerts with a two-and-a-half-year relationship.”
“But I have really good friends,” she continued, as Swift joined her onstage. “They don’t judge me for dating these men. They’re actually really supportive.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, my literal therapist,” Johnson introduced Swift, prompting the pop star to offer a different take on their time together.
“I’m not your therapist, actually. You just show up once a week at my house with an empty bottle of wine and ask if I want some,” Swift replied.
“Yeah, well, I have manners,” Johnson shot back.
Swift continued: “And then you flop on my couch and overshare, and every so often I just say, ‘Damn, that’s crazy.'”
“Is that not a therapist?” Johnson asked.
Swift went on: “And then I say, ‘It’s getting late, I should probably get to bed,’ and then you say—”
“Sleepover, yay!” Johnson answered.
“And then I give you a Pedialyte and my security drives you home.”
Johnson then returned to the original topic.
“I am actually doing a public service by dating them because, ladies, I am saving you a lot of money on Zoloft,” she said. “You’re welcome, America. And also England. And parts of Ireland. And Cleveland, allegedly.”